I happened to see a video of a Korean man hitting a woman two days ago. I had to turn it off halfway because I couldn't stand the movie.

When I was a boy on a Canadian farm, I used to sit in the back of my family car. The younger brother could only flip, the father drove, and the mother sat next to him. Children always curious, I asked my mother: "Mom, if my family meets bad people, what will my mother do?" - "Dad will protect us". "But if a lot of people were bad, what would I do, Mom?" - "Dad will fight with them, and I will hide". I looked at him in admiration. It is the image of the great man who will sacrifice to protect his family.

My parents taught me to respect women from an early age, that has eaten my blood. Especially mother always told me, "Never hit women". "But what if he hit me?", I resisted. Mother calmly: "Run away and tell the teacher". When I was older, my mother told me to open the door for women, always to protect them, whether familiar or strange, to see them in danger, regardless of their influence, I had to help.

Sadly, I cannot educate and convince everyone about not hitting women. Once living in Thai Binh, in a downtown apartment building, I heard the next room with a girl screaming as if she was being killed. Me and Thuong ran into the room to see how. A man is threatening the girl, their daughter is standing there crying and crying. The man who saw us coming seemed to calm down, but a third person (probably a neighbor) came and patted me on the shoulder and said, "It's okay, it's his wife."

I annoyed. And Mr. Thuong said: "Do not hit women." Then we helplessly left the room with disappointment.

Another time in Hanoi. In the Western New Year, neighbors invited me to have a few drinks. I arrived and met a group of quite young men and women there. Both the guest and the host are ivory. They behaved quite strangely, teasing about my Vietnamese language, but because it was Tet, I wasn't too uncomfortable. Suddenly neighbors began to argue with a girl in the group, very loud, and then he slapped her in the face. I was shocked, what are they doing? If Mom knew I ignored her when she saw the other girl beaten, she would kill me right away. I can and help the girl go home. The two men turned to me and said, "This is none of your business." Then a fat man hugged me back. They don't exercise, so fat is an advantage. I pushed him to the ground. While those two men tried to hit me, I dragged the girl into my house, closing the door so I could protect her.

The four drunken men standing outside screaming, the problem I didn't understand was that the girl in the house was always complaining about them. Fortunately, another neighbor called the security to solve the case. I know my mother will praise my actions very well for men.

I used to read books about King Arthur as a child, I admired "Knight’s code" - the underhanded law of the knight. My favorite is the knight Lancelot. He was a great warrior, always storming into fights, but when he returned home, he was a life of love, kindness and generosity.

The concept of "chivalry" - the code of chivalry - came from my homeland in Europe, spread to many places, is a list of rules of virtue such as: Protection of the weak, defenseless; helping widows and orphans; do not let acts violate the law; live for honor and glory; fight for the well-being of everyone; despise the reward is money. The French brought "chivalry" to many countries around the world, including Britain, later Canada and their colonies. Even the Japanese have their own code of conduct in their own Bushido martial arts.

When I read the newspaper about the Korean man who beat his wife, the Vietnamese bride, I realized why my mother kept mentioning the virtue from childhood and how important it was even though I was very annoyed when I was young. I believe men need to learn about virtue, learn from family, school, society, religion ... Living without virtue, the world will be like a bunch of wild animals. Humans have built a civilization on this earth, separated from the animals is also thanks to the ability to work together in groups and relationships, especially the indispensable relationship with women. Not everyone has a good education, but if something goes wrong and you help, you deserve to be a real man.

When I was at the stand-up comedy show, I used to make jokes: "I don't dare touch a single strand of my wife's hair, because she knows Jiu-jitsu, you can twist my neck!"

I think we should call on all Vietnamese women to learn martial arts. So the problem of violence was solved, and alcoholism was also reduced because no man dared to leave the house without permission. Speaking of which, actually, Vietnamese women who go to martial arts while practicing health can change a lot of things, a job but convenient for some things. And that's the only way in the context of society still behaving like "It's okay, it's his wife".

Violence still exists in Vietnamese society in particular and Asia in general because of the attitude of "we should not rely on other people". How can the problem be solved if we just stand by and watch evil act.

Jesse Peterson
(Originally in Vietnamese)